Legacy video ideas: 50 questions to answer on camera for your kids

Your voice, your laugh, the way you pause before a punchline. A five-minute video holds things a letter can't. And unlike a letter, it doesn't ask you to find the right words. You only have to talk.

This guide is part of our series on what to write in a goodbye letter, and it pairs naturally with a written letter. Below are 50 questions to answer on camera, grouped by theme, followed by simple tips for recording at home.

Why video, not just words

Children who lose a parent young often say they've forgotten what their voice sounded like. A short, unpolished video answers that, forever. It doesn't need good lighting. It needs you.

Video also carries the things you'd never think to write down: your accent, the words you always mispronounce, how you look when you're thinking. Even families who never need a "just in case" video tend to treasure these recordings later, because they show a parent as they were at an ordinary moment in life.

How to use these 50 questions

Don't try to answer them all, and certainly not in one sitting. Pick three or four that make you smile or make you think, and record one short video. Next month, pick another handful. Over a year you'll have a small library.

Answer as if your child is sitting just behind the camera. Say their name. Tell stories rather than giving conclusions: "the summer I worked in a chip shop" is more vivid than "hard work matters".

The 50 questions

Childhood

1. What were you like at their age?
2. Where did you grow up, and what did your home look and smell like?
3. Who was your best friend as a child, and what did you get up to?
4. What was your favourite toy, game or hiding place?
5. What did you get into trouble for?
6. What did you want to be when you grew up?
7. What's a meal from childhood you still think about?

Family and roots

8. What do you know about where our family comes from?
9. What were your parents like, really?
10. Which grandparent or relative do you see in them?
11. What family stories should never be lost?
12. What traditions do you hope they keep, and which are they free to drop?
13. What's a phrase or saying that has been in our family for years?

Love

14. How did you meet the person you love, or the people you've loved?
15. What did you learn from your first heartbreak?
16. What makes a friendship last?
17. How do you know when someone is good for you?
18. What does love look like on an ordinary Tuesday?
19. What's the kindest thing anyone has ever done for you?
20. Who should they go to when they need someone who knew you well?

Becoming their parent

21. What was the day they were born like?
22. What did you feel the first time you held them?
23. What was the hardest part of the first year?
24. What's a funny thing they did when they were small?
25. What are you proudest of about them right now?
26. What do you see in them that they might not see yet?
27. What do you hope they never stop doing?

Work and choices

28. What was your first job, and what did it teach you?
29. What's a decision you agonised over that turned out fine?
30. What's a mistake you're glad you made?
31. What would you do differently if you were starting out today?
32. What does a good day's work feel like to you?

Lessons

33. What's the best advice anyone gave you?
34. What took you far too long to learn?
35. What do you wish someone had told you at 18?
36. How do you decide what's right when it isn't obvious?
37. What's worth spending money on, and what isn't?
38. What do you believe that most people don't?
39. What are you still learning?

Hard times

40. What should they do when life gets hard?
41. What's the hardest thing you've been through, and what got you through it?
42. How do you forgive someone, or yourself?
43. What would you say to them on a day they feel like a failure?
44. Who can they lean on, and why that person?

Hopes

45. What do you hope their life feels like, more than what it looks like?
46. What places do you hope they'll see?
47. What kind of person do you hope they'll be to others?
48. What do you want them to know about how loved they are?
49. What would you say to them on their wedding day, or the day they become a parent?
50. What song should they play loud when they miss you?

Simple recording tips

Prop your phone at eye level near a window. Record somewhere that feels like home. Leave in the stumbles and the laughter; they're what make it yours. Keep each video under ten minutes.

1. Set up in five minutes

   Use the rear camera if you can, as it's usually sharper. Stand the phone on a stack of books at eye level, lens about an arm's length away. Face the window so the light falls on you, not behind you.

2. Get the sound right

   Sound matters more than picture. Choose a small room with soft furnishings, turn off the washing machine and the television, and put pets in another room. A clip-on microphone is the one upgrade worth making.

3. Write the questions, not the answers

   Write your three or four questions on a card and keep it beside the camera. Don't write the answers. Read the question aloud, then talk.

4. Leave it unedited

   Resist the urge to cut out pauses, laughs or tears. If you lose your thread, take a breath and carry on. Label the file with the child's name, the date and the questions you answered.

Pairing a video with a letter

A video and a letter do different jobs. The video gives them your presence; the letter gives them something to hold and reread. Many parents record a video and then write a short letter to sit alongside it. Our guide to writing a letter to your child walks through milestones and example lines, and an ethical will is a good home for the values and lessons that come up while you're recording.

If you'd like help with the written part, try the letter writer.

And don't forget the other adults in your life. A short video for your partner, made in the same spirit, can sit beside a letter to your partner.

Delivering it at the right time

A video for a 16th birthday shouldn't arrive at age 8. Think about when each recording should be watched, and label it clearly.

Files on a phone or a laptop are fragile: devices are replaced, cloud accounts lapse, passwords are forgotten. Keep a copy somewhere a trusted adult can find, and tell them what it's for.

With Sealkept, the video can go straight into a message addressed to your child. Record it in your browser (the app asks for your camera and microphone, and you can watch it back and re-record), or upload the file from your phone. Add a few words with it if you like, or let the video speak for itself. Then choose when it's released, such as the day your child turns 16, and it's delivered only if you're not there to share it yourself. They can watch it on their private delivery page and download a copy to keep. Videos are encrypted at rest on our servers, each file with its own key, and released only by the rules you set. Our page for new parents shows a timeline of messages, each waiting for its birthday.

For help with the words that go alongside your recordings, return to our main guide on what to write in a goodbye letter.