The Journal

For the conversations we keep putting off.

Plain-spoken guides and free tools for getting your words, wishes and paperwork in order. No sign-up needed.

Essential guideExplainers7 min read

Dead man's switch: what it is and how to set one up safely

What a digital dead man's switch is, how check-ins and triggers work, the real risks of false sends, and how to set one up safely for your family.

Read the guide

Latest guides

35 guides

Explainers9 min read
Is a letter after death legally binding?
A letter you leave for after your death is usually not legally binding and can't replace a will. Wills must meet formal rules that vary by place, such as signatures and witnesses. Handwritten wills are accepted in some places, so a letter that reads like one can cause disputes. Use a will for legal decisions and letters for love, memories and wishes.
For parents10 min read
Birthday letters for your child after you die: a practical system
To leave birthday letters for your child in case you die, write a small set for key ages such as 5, 10, 13, 16, 18, 21 and 30, keep them short and specific, and set each one to arrive on the birthday it was written for. Tell a trusted adult the letters exist. Sealed paper copies with a guardian are an optional extra.
Explainers9 min read
Dead man's switch false alarms: how they happen and how to prevent them
A dead man's switch is safe when a missed check-in can't send anything on its own. False triggers usually come from lost email access, spam filters, hospital stays, travel or a changed phone; layered reminders, a trusted verifier, a soft alert, a grace period and pause mode stop them, and letters written to be okay if they arrived early add a final layer.
Writing9 min read
Letters before deployment: what to write to your family, just in case
A letter before deployment is a just-in-case letter for the people you love, written so they have your words if you don't come home. Write one to each person, keep it short and specific, and leave it somewhere it will be found, alongside your military's own paperwork, such as a will, emergency contact records and life insurance beneficiaries.
Practical11 min read
How to write down your funeral wishes, with a simple template
To write down your funeral wishes, decide on burial or cremation, the kind of service, music and readings, who should be told, a rough budget and your organ donation choice, then put it on one or two pages. Give a copy to the people who will arrange the funeral now, because a will is often read after the funeral has already happened.
Explainers8 min read
Google Inactive Account Manager: how to set it up, and what it can't do
Google Inactive Account Manager lets you choose what happens to your Google account if it goes unused for 3 to 18 months: Google tries to reach you, then notifies up to 10 trusted contacts, can share the data you picked, sends an optional Gmail autoreply and can delete the account. It is free and worth setting up, but it sends one short message and data downloads, not personal letters.
For parents9 min read
How to choose a guardian for your children, and how to ask them
Choose a guardian for your children by thinking about who shares your values, has the energy and stability to raise them, and already has a bond with them, then ask that person directly and name them in your will. Keep care and money separate if that suits your family, and leave a letter so the guardian knows your children the way you do.
Practical9 min read
Letter of wishes: what it is, what to include, and an example
A letter of wishes is a private, usually non-binding letter that sits alongside your will and tells your executors, trustees or guardians how you'd like things handled: who should get personal items, how a trust should be used, how your children should be raised. In the US the closest equivalent is often called a letter of instruction.
For parents8 min read
A letter to your grandchildren: what to write, with examples
A good letter to your grandchildren tells them where they come from, shares a few family stories only you know, names one or two values you hope they'll carry, and tells each of them what you love about them. Write separately for young and grown grandchildren, keep it to a page or two, and record yourself reading it so they can hear your voice.
Writing10 min read
How to write a letter to your parents: one to give now, one just in case
A good letter to your parents thanks them for specific things, not general ones: a meal, a drive, a sentence they said at the right time. Write one to give now while you can watch them read it, and, if you want, a short just-in-case letter that tells them what they gave you and gives them permission to keep living well.
Practical10 min read
Living alone safety plan: daily check-ins, alerts and a plan for your letters
A good living alone safety plan has two speeds. For emergencies, use fast tools: a daily text with a buddy, a neighbour with a key, a medical alert device or phone emergency features, and a who-to-call note on the fridge. For the slower question of what your family should receive if you die, a dead man's switch on a weekly or monthly rhythm can hold letters, including a note of where your documents are, but it is never an emergency service.
Practical10 min read
How to pass on your passwords when you die, safely
The safest way to pass on passwords is not to hand over a list but to leave one way in: set up emergency access or a recovery kit for your password manager, keep a sealed paper note saying where it is, and tell your executor how to find it. Don't write passwords into your will, which can become a public document.
Practical9 min read
What happens to my pet if I die? How to make a pet care plan
If you die without a plan, your pet usually passes with the rest of your belongings, and whoever deals with your estate decides what happens to them. A pet care plan fixes that: name a carer and a backup, write a care sheet, leave money for their care through your will or a pet trust, and carry a wallet card so someone knows there's an animal at home.
Practical8 min read
How to pass on your photos when you die
Photos in iCloud or Google Photos stay locked behind your account when you die unless you plan ahead. Share a library with family now, add Apple's Legacy Contact or Google's Inactive Account Manager, and keep a labelled 'best of' copy on a drive someone can find. Curating and naming the people in them matters as much as access.
For parents12 min read
Questions to ask your parents before they die: 90 to start with
Ask your parents about their childhood, how they fell in love, their work, the hard times they got through, what they believe, their practical wishes and what they remember about you. Ask one topic per visit, record the conversation with their permission, and write the answers down afterwards so they can be shared.
Writing9 min read
How to write something to be read at your own funeral
A letter to be read at your own funeral works best when it takes 2 to 4 minutes to read aloud, roughly 300 to 500 words. Thank people, share a memory or two, say what mattered to you, and give everyone permission to laugh and carry on. Ask the reader in advance, and keep a copy with your funeral wishes so it's found in time.
Writing9 min read
How to write a letter to someone you're estranged from, now or for later
A good reconciliation letter takes responsibility for your part in plain words, asks for nothing, and leaves the door open without pushing. If the person is alive and it's safe, consider sending it now, while they can answer. A letter left for after your death should only ever comfort, never settle scores or reopen wounds.
Explainers8 min read
Can you schedule an email to send after you die?
You can schedule an email in Gmail or Outlook for a date far in the future, but it sends on that date whether you are alive or not, so you must keep postponing it, and it never sends if the account is closed first. For messages meant only for after your death, a check-in based dead man's switch is more reliable.
Explainers10 min read
How to send messages after death: the real options, compared
There are five realistic ways to send a message after you die: a scheduled email, Google Inactive Account Manager, a letter held by a solicitor or attorney, a trusted friend, or a dead man's switch service. Only a friend or a check-in switch is triggered by your absence rather than a fixed date, and the safest setups combine more than one.
Health10 min read
What to do after a terminal diagnosis: what matters first, and what can wait
After a terminal diagnosis, nothing has to be done today. In the first weeks, ask for palliative care support, choose who can speak for you (a power of attorney or healthcare proxy) and make or update a will. Then, at your own pace, organise accounts and documents and turn to the things only you can do: conversations, letters and recordings for the people you love.
Writing10 min read
How to record a voice message for your family to keep after you're gone
To record a voice message for your family, pick one person, choose two or three prompts, and talk for one to five minutes in a quiet, soft-furnished room with your phone a hand's width from your mouth. Save it as M4A or MP3, keep two copies in different places, and make sure it can reach them.
For parents8 min read
A letter to your child on their wedding day: what to say, with examples
A wedding day letter to your child works best when it's short and specific: one memory of them as a child, what you see in them now, a few honest words about love and marriage, and a welcome for their partner. If you're writing years ahead in case you're not there, keep it about them rather than the unknown partner, label it "for your wedding day" so it can arrive with other letters or on a meaningful birthday, and make sure your child or someone you trust knows it exists.
Explainers8 min read
What happens to WhatsApp when you die?
WhatsApp has no memorial setting or legacy contact. Chats are stored on the phone and in its iCloud or Google backup, not readable on WhatsApp's servers, and inactive accounts are generally deleted after about 120 days. So the phone, its passcode and the backup are what your family needs; anyone with the unlocked phone can export chats to keep.
Practical8 min read
What to do when someone dies: a gentle checklist for the first 30 days
In the first 48 hours, get a medical certificate, tell close family, contact a funeral director, look for a will and secure the home. In the first week, register the death or order death certificates and start notifying people; in the first month, deal with banks, insurers, subscriptions, online accounts and probate.
Travel6 min read
Travelling far? What to leave behind before you go
Before a long or remote trip, leave one person a living itinerary and an agreed check-in rhythm, keep copies of your passport, insurance and medical details where you both can reach them, and adjust or pause any check-in service so patchy signal doesn't set it off.
Writing6 min read
Writing a letter to your partner, in case something happens
The most useful approach is to write two documents: a love letter about your relationship, with a specific memory, what they gave you and permission to grieve and be happy again, and a separate practical note listing accounts, bills, documents and who to call.
For parents7 min read
Legacy video ideas: 50 questions to answer on camera for your kids
A legacy video is a short, unscripted recording of you talking to your children or family. Pick three or four questions per video, such as what you were like at their age or what to do when life gets hard, record on a phone at eye level near a window, and keep each video between three and ten minutes.
Practical6 min read
How to choose an executor, and how to ask them
A good executor is organised, calm, trusted by your family, likely to outlive you, and has actually agreed to do it. Ask them in person, give them time to think, and leave them a clear record of where your will, accounts and wishes are.
Writing7 min read
What is an ethical will? How to write one, with examples
An ethical will, sometimes called a legacy letter, is a non-legal letter to your family that passes on your values, lessons, stories, gratitude and hopes rather than your possessions. It sits alongside a legal will, has no legal force, and can be anything from a paragraph to a few pages.
Practical7 min read
How to tell your family where everything is
Keep originals of your will, deeds and certificates somewhere safe and known, list your banks, pensions, insurers and key contacts in one place, and tell your executor and one backup person where that list lives, without handing over passwords before they are needed.
Health7 min read
Before surgery: a calm checklist for the night before
Before major surgery, sort out the practical things a few days ahead (lifts, medication list, someone to update family), note where your will is and who can make decisions for you, and pause any check-in service so nothing is sent while you recover.
For parents7 min read
How to write a letter to your child to open when they're older
Write a letter to your child by choosing one milestone for them to open it, such as their 18th birthday, then telling one small true story about them now, naming what you see in them, and ending with one hope and the plain words “I love you, I'm proud of you.” Store it somewhere that will still exist, and know the date, years from now.
Explainers8 min read
Digital estate planning: a simple guide for the US and Europe
Digital estate planning means listing your online accounts, turning on each platform's legacy settings, recording what should happen to each account, and naming someone to carry it out. In most US states, RUFADAA gives a platform's own legacy tool priority over your will, and your will priority over the terms of service.
Writing7 min read
What to write in a goodbye letter (and what to leave out)
A good goodbye letter is one honest page that includes a specific memory, what the person gave you, permission to grieve and live on, a small hope for their future, and the plain words “I love you”. Leave out old arguments, binding instructions and passwords, which belong in a separate practical note.

Free tools

Do it, not just read about it.

Private, free and no account needed.

A few minutes tonight. Peace of mind for good.

Start with one message to one person. You can add the rest whenever you're ready.

Write your first message

Set up in a few minutes · $5 a month, cancel anytime