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16 guides from the Journal about letters.
Explainers9 min read
A letter you leave for after your death is usually not legally binding and can't replace a will. Wills must meet formal rules that vary by place, such as signatures and witnesses. Handwritten wills are accepted in some places, so a letter that reads like one can cause disputes. Use a will for legal decisions and letters for love, memories and wishes.
For parents10 min read
To leave birthday letters for your child in case you die, write a small set for key ages such as 5, 10, 13, 16, 18, 21 and 30, keep them short and specific, and set each one to arrive on the birthday it was written for. Tell a trusted adult the letters exist. Sealed paper copies with a guardian are an optional extra.
Writing9 min read
A letter before deployment is a just-in-case letter for the people you love, written so they have your words if you don't come home. Write one to each person, keep it short and specific, and leave it somewhere it will be found, alongside your military's own paperwork, such as a will, emergency contact records and life insurance beneficiaries.
For parents8 min read
A good letter to your grandchildren tells them where they come from, shares a few family stories only you know, names one or two values you hope they'll carry, and tells each of them what you love about them. Write separately for young and grown grandchildren, keep it to a page or two, and record yourself reading it so they can hear your voice.
Writing10 min read
A good letter to your parents thanks them for specific things, not general ones: a meal, a drive, a sentence they said at the right time. Write one to give now while you can watch them read it, and, if you want, a short just-in-case letter that tells them what they gave you and gives them permission to keep living well.
Writing9 min read
A letter to be read at your own funeral works best when it takes 2 to 4 minutes to read aloud, roughly 300 to 500 words. Thank people, share a memory or two, say what mattered to you, and give everyone permission to laugh and carry on. Ask the reader in advance, and keep a copy with your funeral wishes so it's found in time.
Writing9 min read
A good reconciliation letter takes responsibility for your part in plain words, asks for nothing, and leaves the door open without pushing. If the person is alive and it's safe, consider sending it now, while they can answer. A letter left for after your death should only ever comfort, never settle scores or reopen wounds.
Explainers10 min read
There are five realistic ways to send a message after you die: a scheduled email, Google Inactive Account Manager, a letter held by a solicitor or attorney, a trusted friend, or a dead man's switch service. Only a friend or a check-in switch is triggered by your absence rather than a fixed date, and the safest setups combine more than one.
Health10 min read
After a terminal diagnosis, nothing has to be done today. In the first weeks, ask for palliative care support, choose who can speak for you (a power of attorney or healthcare proxy) and make or update a will. Then, at your own pace, organise accounts and documents and turn to the things only you can do: conversations, letters and recordings for the people you love.
Writing10 min read
To record a voice message for your family, pick one person, choose two or three prompts, and talk for one to five minutes in a quiet, soft-furnished room with your phone a hand's width from your mouth. Save it as M4A or MP3, keep two copies in different places, and make sure it can reach them.
For parents8 min read
A wedding day letter to your child works best when it's short and specific: one memory of them as a child, what you see in them now, a few honest words about love and marriage, and a welcome for their partner. If you're writing years ahead in case you're not there, keep it about them rather than the unknown partner, label it "for your wedding day" so it can arrive with other letters or on a meaningful birthday, and make sure your child or someone you trust knows it exists.
Writing6 min read
The most useful approach is to write two documents: a love letter about your relationship, with a specific memory, what they gave you and permission to grieve and be happy again, and a separate practical note listing accounts, bills, documents and who to call.
Writing7 min read
An ethical will, sometimes called a legacy letter, is a non-legal letter to your family that passes on your values, lessons, stories, gratitude and hopes rather than your possessions. It sits alongside a legal will, has no legal force, and can be anything from a paragraph to a few pages.
For parents7 min read
Write a letter to your child by choosing one milestone for them to open it, such as their 18th birthday, then telling one small true story about them now, naming what you see in them, and ending with one hope and the plain words “I love you, I'm proud of you.” Store it somewhere that will still exist, and know the date, years from now.
Writing7 min read
A good goodbye letter is one honest page that includes a specific memory, what the person gave you, permission to grieve and live on, a small hope for their future, and the plain words “I love you”. Leave out old arguments, binding instructions and passwords, which belong in a separate practical note.
Explainers7 min read
A digital dead man's switch is a service that holds messages or documents and releases them to chosen people only if you stop responding to regular check-ins. A safe one uses layers, such as repeated reminders, a trusted verifier, a soft alert and a grace period, so that a missed check-in never sends anything by mistake.
Start with one message to one person. You can add the rest whenever you're ready.
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