How to tell your family where everything is

Telling family where things are means talking about why they'd need to know. So most of us don't. Then, if the worst happens, the people we love spend weeks searching drawers and guessing passwords while grieving.

It doesn't have to be a hard conversation, a spreadsheet nobody opens, or giving away your passwords today. This guide covers what your family actually needs, where to keep it, and three ways to share it. It's one part of a wider digital estate plan, and it's the part that saves the most time.

Why it's harder than it sounds

The difficulty isn't really practical. Most of us could write down our bank, our pension and where the will is in ten minutes. The hard part is the reason for writing it, and the feeling that saying it out loud makes it more likely.

There's also a privacy worry. A full list of your accounts is sensitive. Leaving it in a shared folder or a kitchen drawer exposes it today, to anyone who looks, for years before it might be needed.

The answer is to separate two things: what your family needs to know, and when they need to know it.

What they actually need to know

Not every detail. Just enough to find the rest.

• Where the will is and who the executor is
• Which banks, pensions and insurers you use
• How to unlock your phone or password manager
• Who to call first: lawyer, accountant, employer
• Where the spare keys, deeds and certificates live

That short list is the core. If an executor has it, they can contact each organisation, which will tell them what's held and what paperwork they need. Our guide on how to choose an executor covers what else is worth leaving that person.

Your important documents list

Use this as a fuller checklist. Not everything applies to everyone; tick what you've located and noted, and skip what doesn't fit your life. Your ticks are saved in this browser.

For your online accounts specifically (email, photos, social media, subscriptions), the legacy checklist walks through twenty things your family would need to find.

Where to keep each kind of document

Different things need different homes. A useful rule: originals somewhere safe, a list somewhere findable, and secrets somewhere sealed.

This is general information, not legal advice, and rules differ by country. In the US, most states have adopted RUFADAA, which governs what an executor can access online; in the UK, the Tell Us Once service lets the family notify many government departments in one go after a death is registered. Both work far better when your family already knows which organisations to contact.

Three ways to share it, from simplest to safest

One: a sealed envelope with someone you trust. Simple, but easy to lose or open early.

Two: a shared document. Convenient, but it exposes everything now.

Three: a sealed digital note, delivered only if you stop checking in. Private today, findable when needed.

1. Write the list once

   Use the checklist above. Names of institutions and where the paperwork lives are enough. Leave out full account numbers and passwords.

2. Decide how access will work

   For your phone and passwords, set up emergency access in your password manager, or put the access details in a note that's only released if needed.

3. Tell two people it exists

   Your executor and one backup. You don't have to show them the contents, only tell them it exists and how they'll get it.

4. Put a yearly reminder in your calendar

   Review it once a year, and whenever you change bank, insurer or phone.

If you do want to talk

You don't need a sit-down family meeting. Keep it light and short. Something like this works for most families.

Some good moments to say it: after updating your will, when a parent asks about theirs, before a big trip or an operation (our before-surgery checklist has a short paperwork section), or when you're helping an older relative with their own affairs.

Keeping it current

A list that was accurate five years ago can do more harm than none, sending your family to a bank you left or an insurer you cancelled. Once a year is enough for most people. Pick a fixed date, such as a birthday or the start of the tax year, and spend twenty minutes on it.

If you'd like the list to stay private while you're here and reach the right person if you're not, Sealkept can hold it as a sealed note, encrypted at rest and only released by your rules after reminders, optional verifiers and a grace period. For the wider picture, including platform legacy settings and what executors can access by law, read our digital estate planning guide.